Friday, January 19, 2018

Ageless Romance: Keeping Love Alive During Golden Years

August 5, 2012 by  
Filed under Romance, Lust & Passion

Sex and relationship therapist, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, has suggestions for couples wanting to keep romance alive later in life.

Staff Report

ST. LOUIS, MO - According to the AARP, more people in their 60′s, 70′s, and 80′s are getting re-married after death or divorce later in life. Relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil says that there are specific tips retirees should follow to keep the romance alive in their relationship, as well as advice that is fitting for a healthy relationship no matter what age!

As people live longer, divorce becomes more common, and social networks expand, more and more people are re-marrying later in life. A study from the University of Missouri shows about 500,000 Americans age 65 and older remarry each year, and New York Magazine reports that sex and love is alive and well in retirement communities (http://bit.ly/QiYN2F). 

Whether on a first marriage, or a remarriage, Dr. Bonnie points out that “as people get older, and they often become more stubborn and have less patience, they are less apt to want to work on a relationship.” This can present challenges to marriages that occur later in life. To this end, Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue to help couples stay happy and healthy in their golden years. “These skills are good for any relationship, but especially important when a couple is perhaps a bit set in their ways!”

Dr. Bonnie’s Smart Heart Skills provide a place where each person can express any frustrations or concerns in a constructive manner. She suggests couples check in with each other on any issues they face once a week for ten minutes or so. “Share any needs about connection, disconnection, and feelings that arise around these needs,” instructs Dr. Bonnie.

And because couples who re-marry later in life are often comfortable being on their own and value their independence, Dr. Bonnie encourages couples to start out giving each other space even before the other person asks. “Women, encourage your husband to go on that hunting trip, to catch a ball game with the guys. And men, make sure your wives take a girls’ night on a regular basis, or have time to work on a hobby they enjoy.” These “mini brushes with death” are useful for both parties. They rejuvenate the person who’s taking the break, and they make the other partner appreciate them and look forward to the time when they’ll be together again instead of being frightened by the time apart.

Love at any age takes commitment and work; unique issues arise with remarriages later in life, but with the right skills and a little flexibility Dr. Bonnie says “ageless romances” can be quite successful!

Dr. Bonnie talks more about these skills in her book, Make Up Don’t Break Up, as well as in this video: http://youtu.be/a-hlUgnwLXc

August is Romance Awareness Month! Kick Off The Celebration With These 4 …

August 4, 2012 by  
Filed under Romance, Lust & Passion

Romantic social network Zoosk surveyed 2,300 Americans in honor of this special month to get their take on modern romance. According to Zoosk, while the single life sounds glamorous, couples have more romance. Thanks Zoosk. I think we can assume from my chipped toenail polish and the leftover calzone I reheated for dinner last night that I’m not exactly in the “glam” single gal category. And I don’t need to be told I have no romance. Hmmph.

OK, OK, that’s not Zoosk’s fault. And I love romance, even if I’m only getting it from books these days. Want to know what they found about the world of love?

Couples are winning at romance.
When it comes to loving, 71% of couples claim their significant other is romantic, but only 41% of singles say the same about their “other.” I’m a little confused about this since by nature, you don’t have an “other” if you’re single, but I will take this to mean singles don’t get enough romance from their friends with benefits, maybe he is but maybe he isn’t (but definitely isn’t) boyfriends, platonic life partners, or imaginary relationships with Jon Hamm. Whatever a single person’s “other” situation might be, singles are less romantically satisfied: 59% of couples are satisfied with the amount of romance in their lives, while a mere 20% of singles say the same.

Couples and singles have different romantic priorities.
People find different gestures more romantic depending on their relationship status: 41% of couples prefer a hug and a kiss, while 44% of singles are more into a candlelit dinner. Unsurprisingly, no one really thinks taking out the garbage without being asked is romantic. OK, 2% of people do and they have a really low bar for romance.

We all agree on the importance of being romantic.
Among all those polled, 78% consider romance in a relationship to be “very important.”

The most romantic days of the year are…
Anniversaries (42%), summer vacations (34%) and Valentine’s Day (24%). There’s still time to take a last minutes summer getaway, romance seekers.

Feel free to take Romance Awareness Month as an excuse to be extra ooey-gooey for the rest of summer, lovebirds!

Do you agree that anniversaries are the most romantic day? What do you find to be the most romantic gesture? Are you inspired to be more aware of romance this month?

A few more romantic moments:
*The Real Way to Romance a Guy
*And Now, Summer Romance Math 101 (Don’t Fret, These Are Equations You’ll Understand!)
*Looking for Love? Check Out These Great Cities for Romance

Photo: Thinkstock